Jade Goody may be dead, but she's still a vile chav

'AaronF1982' left me this little comment on the SM blog yesterday:

Your rants are no more "intellectual" than that of Nicole Cornes or Amber Petty. They're feministic in nature, bear very little weight based on fact, and are more or less entirely opinionated. I read the Advertiser for news, not pathetic rants on people who are suppose to bear some significant self-importance.

I love these comments, because I can just imagine the crotchety antagonist sitting behind the protective screen of his or her computer thinking ZING! That'll show her! And yet, they're the ones wasting their time thinking up poorly constructed 'witticisms' to fire at supposedly useless bloggers who are doing nothing more than wasting everybody's time writing pointless diatribes no one cares about.

I mean, at least I get paid for doing that.


Cross posted from this week's Sunday Mail blog:

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It’s a curious thing, this fame obsessed society of ours. I wouldn’t be the first to point out that one need have no discernable talent in order to thrust themselves into the (often well-paid) limelight.

All they need have is a desperate aversion to taste, propriety or anything remotely resembling self-awareness.

Perhaps one of the most startling examples of modern society’s willingness to embrace and celebrate absolute mediocrity has been with the now late Jade Goody. From humble (and admittedly tragic) origins, Goody was catapaulted into Z-grade celebrity status following her appearance on that cesspool of talentless hacks all searching for their 15 minutes – Big Brother.

After being widely vilified by Britain following her participation in the 2000 screening of BB, Goody cashed in on one of the golden rules of fickle stardom – the only thing the public loves more than hating a villain is championing a misunderstood, rehabilitated former miscreant (see: Ben Cousins, Wayne Carey, Matt Newton).

Suddenly, Goody had endorsement deals up the wazoo. By 2007, she was the owner of three homes, a $120,000 car and had penned a biography (to join the hordes of other biographies ghost written for people who have the audacity to assume that lives lived before the age of 25 warrant a book detailing them).

But while you can take the girl out of Chavsville, you can’t take the Chav out of the girl.

In 2007, Goody appeared on Celebrity Big Brother and rapidly earned the nation’s hatred once more after becoming embroiled in a racist scandal with fellow contestant Shilpa Shetty. Not only was Goody monumentally stupid – she famously claimed the Mona Lisa was painted by ‘Pistachio’ and that a ferret was a bird – she was also a vile, foul mouthed, ignorant racist consumed by a self aggrandizing obsession with being famous for fame’s sake.

She was an example of one of the worst kinds of people. She was not only vicious and utterly stupid, she appeared to revel in it. The idea that she could have penned a shopping list is dubious, let alone a full length biography.

And yet, when Goody discovered she was suffering from terminal cancer just seven months ago, she was transformed virtually overnight into a saintly doyenne of human suffering. Her constant grabs for exposure and fame were now cast in the light of someone wanting to raise awareness about cervical cancer. People praised her strength and endurance; they mourned for her two sons who would now be forced to live without a mother. Since her death last week, tributes have been pouring in from all over the world.

The entire circus is a gross exercise in gratuitous mourning. Jade Goody had her 15 minutes of fame, and her (now) adoring public can at last have their 15 minutes of claiming they ‘knew and cared about her when’.

In 2008, our Chaser boys wrote an excellent song parodying society’s compulsion to martyr the dead even when they were rightfully reviled in life. We fear speaking ill of the dead (unless it’s about undisputed despots) and instead string together insincere testaments to their enduring spirit or lust for life. The excuse is offered that the dead are unable to defend themselves, so it’s cowardly to criticise them.

But I suspect it’s more simple than that. We don’t want to speak ill of the dead because people on the whole are afraid of death itself. Might we be tempting karma to lambast those who have passed over? Might Death himself be watching us revelling in the Hated One’s demise, and suddenly decide to give us a taste of our own medicine?

But in amongst this is a macabre sense of excitement. The British media circus surrounding Goody’s much publicised illness and expected death amounted to nothing more than tragedy porn of the most exploitative kind. And like most porn, now that it’s over it leaves people feeling rather unfulfilled and vaguely squeamish.

The fact is, there is no reason why a character as despicable as Jade Goody should have been celebrated even in the prime of her life. To hold her up as some kind of example of class and fortitude in the lead up to her death was not only sick, it was also stupidly incorrect.

Having cancer didn’t change the fact she was a money grubbing famewhore with no respect for her fellow human beings and nothing of value whatsoever to offer an audience on a mass scale. It didn’t change the fact she was a racist, aggressive bully, or that the only reason she tried to make amends for this was because her vast fauxlebrity empire was crashing down around her ears.

She may have secured an enviable fortune for her sons, but at what price? To feed off another person’s imminent death as TV and magazine entertainment is a sick indictment on a society already far too obsessed with ‘reality’ television and talentless bozos with no internal barometer for humiliation and no off button.

I’m sad that cancer has claimed yet another victim. I’m sad that two children have lost their mother far too early. I’m sad that Jade Goody has died, but only in the way that I’m not sad that she was alive. If society had a shred of credibility left, Goody would have died as most people do – far away from a slew of cameras and their salivating audience.

Indeed, we would never have been exposed to her in the first place. And we certainly wouldn’t have had to watch while she demonstrated her unremitting desire for public exposure right up until her very last breath.

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Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and waste other people's time by finding new and more annoying ways to be irrelevant.

She sparkles in the night sky, and has a big horn...

A few weeks ago, a Sunday Mail reader emailed to tell me I had an obligation to reveal my interest in homosexual rights. His reasoning was, as you would expect, incredibly astute and sophisticated.

"Clementine I think it is fair to ask if you are homosexual yourself.

You just seem to be writing from that position. It might just be you have a homosexual friend and are influenced by that line of thought either way your readers are entitled to know if you have any personal position on this. Myself I don't care who you sleep with but if something influences your writing then your readers deserve to be told."

Being a decent human being concerned with the equality and welfare of others is apparently no longer the new black - these days, it's a bit div I suppose.

So in the interests of being transparent, I feel it’s best (and honest) that I come clean: My name is Clementine Ford, and I am on the payroll of the Homosexual Mafia.

In exchange for subliminally encouraging members to join the (same) team, homo gangsters keep me furnished in glitter dust, fairyfloss and comfortable shoes. They even bought me a unicorn.

Her name is Cher.

Hate Mail #368626

I had the pleasure of opening this in the dentist this morning...

"DEAR MISS FORD

I assume you are single, and one of those filthy vagina licking lesbians, re your attack on Julia Gillard 8/3/09.

You poofter lovers make me sick to the stomach. You never ever mention that if the entire human race turned into queers and lezzos then the human race would die out, and become extinct. Why don't you, mention that?

It is absolutely filthy that one man would stick his cock up another mans arse, makes me want to vomit.

My solution re education camps. "No pun intended" wherby - all queer men, and women would be forcibly rounded up, and sent to such places as Baxter, Woomera etc. and men would be forced to share cells with lesbian women, in double beds, to try and break thier disgusting style of behaviour, and make them normal. Like I am and proud to be.

You should read the Bible, a bit more often Miss Ford and then you may realize this filthy disgusting lifestyle you promote as being acceptable behaviour is in fact in stark contrast to the teachings of the greatest book ever written.

I can assure you more people would support my policy of forced normalisation, and 2 hours a day compulsory Bible study, than the minority disgusting filthy alternate lifestyle you and these queer men, promote all the time.

Normal people like me, are getting sick and tired of people like you promoting this disgusting filthy behaviour as somehow normal. It is not normal and a forced normalisation detention centre is the way to go. To sustain the real human race. In our greatl and of mostly normal men and women.

I will pray for you tonight Miss Ford and hopefully soon you will change your disturbing views about these freaks.

May God be with you, Miss Ford.

Regards,

A decent Christian Gent."

-----

It's a bit cryptic...but I think what he's trying to say is that homosexuality is filthy and disgusting - and may in fact quite possibly be Not Normal.

Shut your mouth BABY FEMINIST

Last Sunday, I wrote the following for the Sunday Mail:

RECENTLY, Julia Gillard exposed a degree of hypocrisy and mean-spiritedness in her that was disappointing to witness.

In an exchange she claims was a light spot of parliamentary humour, Gillard accused the Opposition of opting for "mincer" rather than "macho" in their choice of new manager of Opposition Business. Education spokesman and SA Liberal Christopher Pyne had risen to interject with a point of order when Gillard dealt the low blow.

Having always been a fan of our deputy prime minister, I was saddened to see her resort to the tried and tested tactic of using homosexual innuendo to criticise one of her fellow MPs. It was cheap, lazy and above all played upon the insidious homophobia that runs deeply through Australian popular culture and humour.

Gillard may feel comfortable passing the comments off as "humorous", and to some people they may be. But they betray a presumption about masculinity that runs deeply in Australia.

Masculinity in Australia is as precariously a constructed notion as femininity. When feminists (or, my preferred term, boner killers) like myself criticise the way in which rigid gender roles are isolating and oppressive, we are referring not only to women.

Men are equally as oppressed by the enforced concept of masculinity; what it means to be a "real" man and how important it is to achieve such a state in order to be accepted by society.

You can see these rules being played out all around us. Last year, Solo launched a viral campaign with teaser ads leading up to the big reveal. Warning men against "man cans", the ads joked that traditionally "feminine" activities such as expressing emotions other than anger or lust would lead to the development of male breasts.

Essentially, not being manly enough could lead to you becoming a woman which is embarrassing, humiliating and completely un-Ostrayan.

A few years ago, an acquaintance of mine was riding his bike down Pulteney St when a carload of guys drove past and yelled: "Real men ride women!"

It's a classic example of group pig-headedness, but the inherent homophobia in it is also one that runs deeply through our country. "Real men" not only "ride" women, but they drink beer, eat meat, love sports (especially football) and despise salad (according to some).

In Ostrayan culture, there's little room for men who enjoy none of these things. Despite the 1990s embrace of the SNAG and the 2000s reinvention of the metrosexual, the inherent indicators of masculinity remain the same. And "mincing" is not one of them.

One need not ask what Gillard meant when she accused Christopher Pyne of being a "mincer". It was a direct attack on Pyne's masculinity (or apparent lack thereof, according to Gillard). "Mincer" has also always been a hateful barb used to describe homosexuals. Is that what she was inferring? If so, she makes a presumption about his sexuality that is not only unfair but entirely none of her business.

AND the bitter icing on the homophobia cake is that Gillard directly fed into bigoted ideas that to be gay is to be somehow less of a man.

It's disappointing enough that such beliefs still remain prevalent in our country - that they have been expressed by our deputy PM in an attempt at jocular parliamentary humour is inexcusable. I'm all for bringing some comedy to the house (and well constructed insults can definitely form part of this) but attacking people because they exist outside of acceptable gender constructs is despicable. Don't we deserve better from our elected representatives?

It's bad enough that the Rudd Government has done nothing to legalise gay marriage or even civil unions - to have their deputy leader cracking homophobic jokes in the house is an insult to the concept of democracy.

And frankly, I would have thought Gillard would be more sensitive to this given the prejudicial insults she had to endure from Bill Heffernan on her supposed status as a "barren" woman. As commentator Alistair writes at political website GrodsCorp: "It's a sad day when Bill Heffernan is the benchmark for parliamentary behaviour."

Much as I appreciate Gillard, I was appalled to see her stooping to homophobic barbs in order to get a few cheap laughs in the House. So imagine my astonishment to receive the following irate email from a reader. I've left it in its original pentameter aesthetic and highlighted my favourite parts....

You silly little girl!

Here you are able to present your ideas to the readers of the Sunday Mail…whoever they may be! And what do you do? You criticise women in power. I bet Julia Gillard is disgusted with your comments.

You are definitely of the Y generation. You know nothing! You know nothing of the fight of someone like Julia to get where she is; you know nothing of the fight of people like myself to meet men eye to eye in the workplace; and you know nothing of the fight of women like my mother to be accepted as able to work; and even further my grandmother…who worked to save the family from being broken up and put into foster care. Men love you! You feed into the hands of their dominance.

So you don’t think that we all have sons and lovers and husbands, and are not aware of the issues of homosexuality and suicide among those that we love? P.S. I do not have a homosexual son or husband. I am just bright!

Do you believe that you are opening a door of ignorance?

You silly little girl!

Learn one thing from me if you learn nothing else…………….. If you do not agree with what a woman in power has said…..then just keep your mouth shut and say nothing, because as sure as night follows day some male will say it for you!

I am 62 years old, and have been married happily for 42 years with two children a boy and a girl. I have worked all my life as the women before me did, my occupation being small business and now as a teacher at a category 2 school in the metropolitan area.

Clementine….I don’t know how old you are, but I suspect that you haven’t spoken intimately with the older women in your family and in other people’s families. Maybe you haven’t spoken to and elderly Indigenous woman, or a disabled woman. Of course we know that homophobia is UNACCEPTABLE. You have to learn however what the rules of politics are and what dirty rules of engagement are!

Before you write next time…stop …..think ….and consult.

Cheers **** *******.

1. You silly little girl!

As salutations go, it's not that far off the usual greetings offered to me from my more, shall we say, vehement readers.

2. I bet Julia Gillard is disgusted with your comments.

Really? Because I can't see her wasting much time worrying about it actually. Except maybe to roll her eyes and secretly think I might be right.

3. Men love you! You feed into the hands of their dominance.

So now in addition to being a 'boner killer' I can also add the proud title of 'patriarchal enabler' to my list of achievements. My cover has been blown!

4. P.S. I do not have a homosexual son or husband. I am just bright!

And clearly she feels she needs to clarify that she doesn't have any homo genes floating around her family's gene pool. PHEW.

5. If you do not agree with what a woman in power has said…..then just keep your mouth shut and say nothing, because as sure as night follows day some male will say it for you!

Wow. And *I* encourage the patriarchy.

6. Before you write next time…stop …..think ….and consult.

Sooooooo.....clearly not a line of advice Mrs No Gays In The Family follows herself then. I shall be sure to phone her and consult next time I feel the pesky need to express an opinion potentially offensive to hardcore 1970s feminism. Or...you know...one that demonstrates rational intelligence.

I replied of course.

Dear ****,

You are clearly unfamiliar with the bulk of my work, most of which deals with feminist issues and the fight for equality. Indeed, I am astonished at your suggestion that I 'keep my mouth shut' when a woman in power says something I don't like. That sort of attitude beggars belief. Am I to keep my mouth shut when respected therapist Bettina Arndt advises wives to submit to their husbands sexually even when they don't feel like it? Am I to keep my mouth shut when political pundit Ann Coulter comes out with yet another stupid diatribe against women, blacks, Muslims and homosexuals? Am I to keep my mouth shut when women like Pauline Hanson, who one could argue admirably struggled into a position of power, spews forth with hateful rhetoric against anyone different from her? I am simply astonished.

You may criticise me for being 'young' but Dawn, you are sadly suffering from the same one eyed viewpoint of a portion of feminists from your generation. You cannot stand to see younger women doing it differently or interpreting things in different manners. It is in fact YOU and not ME who are against the sisterhood, because you insist it must stay exactly as it was when your generation were leading the feminist fight. It's a position that saddens me greatly - you will never appreciate the great work that young feminists are doing because you refuse to believe it could possibly be as valid as the work of you and your contemporaries.

Incidentally, one might argue that it is a huge achievement for a woman under the age of 30 to have been given a newspaper column (particularly in a conservative town like Adelaide) and basically free reign to write from a leftist perspective. Yet you contradict your argument in your very first sentence to me - 'you silly little girl!' Do you not think that men have been saying that exact thing to me in all of my writing career because I write things which they feel undermine their power somehow? I'm amazed that you cannot see the hypocrisy in your own argument.

And how dare you suggest that I haven't consulted widely with the women in my family. Who are you to make that judgement, simply because I have chosen in one incident to hold Julia Gillard to a higher standard? A standard which I believe she inhabits generally, but fell victim to the cheap shot?

Mrs *******, I am simply flabbergasted by your utter hypocrisy and shameful willingness to ignore the what is RIGHT in order to avoid criticising women in power. Not all women who achieve positions of power exercise that power properly, just as with men. To suggest they should be blindly followed is simply staggering, and the exact flipside of suggesting they shouldn't be allowed access to it in the first place.

Regards,

Clementine Ford

Shut my mouth indeed. Puck off.

Wayne-ker

Fuck. Off.

WAYNE Carey has embarked on a challenging, confronting journey of discovery. It is a trip to previously unexplored territory - his inner self.

The Gold Coast-based AFL great is seeing specialists in the field of emotional fitness as he tries to build a new life and win respect as a person.

I asked the footy legend if he had been reduced to tears, and he flippantly replied: "I cry all the time."

Rebuked, he said: "I cry. I cried the other day. You're allowed to cry.

"(But) I'm in a happy place right now.

"In saying that, I'm still a work in progress and I've got a long way to go – certainly not sitting here thinking I'm now a perfect human being."

Well thank fudge for that. You know. Considering that not ONCE in this interview does either the paper or Carey mention the fact that he glassed his girlfriend in the fracking face. I would jolly well hope he didn't think he was perfect just because he's squeezed out a few tears now and had his PR agent arrange for some newspapers to find out about it.

He is emerging from a period of scandal and shame that saw him face courts in Miami and Melbourne.

Carey, 37, will be inducted into North Melbourne's Hall of Fame next week and has promised a heartfelt speech to mark his return.

"I left home when I was 13 years of age, then lived with my mum for about a year before I went to Melbourne," Carey says. "From 16-32, North Melbourne were my family."

He left in disgrace seven years ago after an affair with Kellie Stevens, then wife of friend and team-mate Anthony Stevens. His manager Anthony McConville and counsellors agreed it was important for his rehabilitation to reconcile with the club and as many of his old friends as practical.

"We thought it was important to make contact with people at the Kangaroos again – players I'd lost contact with, the club in general," Carey said.

"I'd pushed them away, kept them at arm's length. All for reasons that people on the outside would see as selfish but . . . reasons that I thought were right." Despite the phone calls and text messages, Carey refused the olive branch from everyone other than a few intimates.

"I haven't addressed everything (a veiled reference to Stevens and Glenn Archer, once his staunchest ally), but I think I go back in a much healthier state, much more stable place emotionally."

So.....no more domestically violent outbursts then? Kate's face should be pleased to hear that.

"I think it's important that I talk to you about where I am at, but I think it's important that there are things I have to keep to myself when there's other people affected."

Do you, Carey. Do you really think it's important to talks to us about where you're at? Do you not just think you should, you know, skulk off and disappear like the turd you are? Because frankly, that's what I think it's important you do.

Despite an erratic history of visits to psychologists and doctors, it wasn't until he met emotional fitness specialist Cynthia Morton that Carey was ready to confront his demons.

His emotional rehab has been helped by a major reduction in his alcohol intake.

Can I just say that 'emotional fitness specialist' may very well be a legitimate job, but it's a complete product of the 21st century. I mean, how would you even say that job with a straight face? It's akin to being a dog psychiatrist - so, ironically, in Carey's case Morton may as well be either.

It's all quite obviously a PR stunt. Lay low for awhile Wayno and at the opportune time will bring you back out and harp on about your supposed emotional development and shit. Woman's Day will LOVE IT.

I can't help but think Absolute Power was being remarkably prescient with this episode. Watch how Stephen Fry's PR company handles their comedian client being caught on video viciously beating his five month pregnant wife...

Blasted BBC has banned embedding. Watch the video here.

Also, how brilliant is Absolute Power? Genius.

Blatantly shit

I have many things I want to write about this week, but I'm currently living sans internet (except at work). It's rather a bit like living in a medieval hut somewhere, except with excellent plumbing and my papa's fully stocked fridge.

I am going to put the hard word on him to hook up to the future sometime this week and thus shall reenter the femnet anon.

Meanwhile, can someone, anyone explain to me why it is that an advertisement for an annual netball championship, with proper well known teams and actual athletes (who happen to be female) finds it necessary to dress the captain of one of said teams in a ball gown and a pair of heels? It's not a fracking charity ball. Is the state of women's sport in this country (and it's appropriate fandom) really so very dire that, in advertising a championship, organisers find it necessary to sufficiently disguise that fact in swathes of material and stilletos?



Is this simply another attempt to assure an apparently (whether in actuality or just by organisers' assumptions) neanderthalic Australian audience that, whilst it's certainly true that some women play sports at a professional level, they certainly still value the items and accoutrements which make them so deliciously female; indeed that, while exposing themselves TO professional sports may be seen as a Major Risk Move where their femininity is concerned, they themselves would like to remind everyone that they understand the important essentials.

One of which is clearly that in order to drum up interest in women's sport in Australia (and likely all over the world) you have to define it as everything other than what it actually is - or rather, demonstrate that it poses no threat to the natural order of things despite the fact that everyone knows only men are good at it.

*headdesk*

The show must go on...

Darling Emily and I finished our three night run last night on a perfect high. And now we are going to frock up and take the show (and our band members, Magic Mel and Magic Ash) to Edinburgh. Squee!

Seriously, there was something in the room last night. It was electric. I actually thought I was singing off key all night, no matter how much I tried to pitch. I apologised a few times to the audience and they said they couldn't hear anything weird. I realised it was just in one ear and then I figured out that my mother was probably standing next to me trying to hog the microphone. God, she was such a terrible singer...and I could just hear her off notes all night! It was really throwing me off my game. Bless her cotton socks...

But I want to share this amazing story with y'all. On Friday night, one of Emily's witchdoctory psychic friends was in the audience and she talked about all these spirits she had seen in the room, singing along. She also said that she kept seeing fields of glorious sunflowers, just over and over. I racked my brains and even asked my sister and father, but the sunflowers meant nothing to us, nor Emily.

Anyway, I was working yesterday morning at Womad and this beautiful woman walked in wearing a gorgeous floor length dress. We started chatting and I noticed that she seemed profoundly sad. She was probably in her late 30s (her 9 year old son was with her) and I suddenly got the strangest sense that someone close to her, a man, had recently died - either her husband or father. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to freak her out, but we started talking about my babushka tattoo and I mentioned that my mother had died a few years ago.

"That's interesting," she said, "because my father just died two weeks ago and I really want to get a tattoo so I can keep him with me all the time."

I still didn't let on that I had 'guessed', but just felt this overwhelming need to have her come to the show as some kind of cathartic grieving process thingy for her. So I told her about it, gave her the details and said I would put her name on the door as a complimentary ticket. It really wasn't about the money, just this urge that she needed to come.

I did look for her later on that night, but couldn't spy the dress and thought it had all been to no avail. But she approached me as soon as we'd finished; she was wearing a blue cardigan, so I'd missed her in the crowd. She'd been crying all throughout the show, and thanked me because she said she'd been consumed by numbness lately and had been worried there was something wrong with her, or that she wasn't grieving properly or that she wasn't 'sad enough' about her dad when she clearly is distraught by it.

And then I asked her about the sunflowers.

It turns out that not only did she used to grow them but that when her father died, her friend sent her a condolence card with a packet of sunflower seeds in them. I told her about Evie's vision of the fields of sunflowers and joked that her father must have been prodding me towards her so that I could, in a convoluted manner, pass on the story about the sunflowers blooming and she would know that he was okay.

Honestly - I don't care if some of you don't believe in this kind of stuff or write it off as mumbo jumbo. I know what it feels like to be given signs and to have the dead bring your attention to things. I know that Melissa's father was using me to let her know that he didn't want her to be so grief ridden and traumatised. It was honestly one of the most beautiful, satisfying and inspiring moments of my life to be able to translate that message to her. Wow.

Emily says that when you perform music, you enter a zone that opens yourself up to all sorts of energy. I've gotta say - there was some fuckin' hardcore amazing drug-like energy in that room over the last three nights. What. A. Trip.

Oh, and also we are going to bring the show to Melbourne and maybe other places. Just so y'all know if you want to see it.

First review in...

*hem hem*

Ashes to Ashes ****

by EWART SHAW

SONGS of loss and longing may sound like a dutiful Fringe production about the grief process.

But trust me, Emily Davis and Clementine Ford have created from their own experiences of deaths in the family, and their excellent musical skills, an evening that proves that death sucks but laughter really helps you through. It is at times embarrassingly funny.

There are fine songs of their own, and others from Neil Young, Johnny Cash and the Mountain Goats, presented with the help of Mel Horsman on drums and Asher Reynolds on keyboard, and leavened with some wonderful touching and funny stories.

The letters to friends and the dead that are read out are beautifully created, and Clementine's Amy Winehouse anecdotes add something really special to the mix.

This show deserves every audience it can raise, and should tour widely.

Adelaide Bowls Club, until March 7.

Basically, we were mutha ucking AWESOME. Two more shows. Judges coming tonight. Eek!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a show.

I mentioned recently that I'm performing in a Fringe show this year with my very darling friend Emily Davis.

The details are below.

Our Facebook page.

Part music, part theatre, Ashes to Ashes interweaves memories and song to confront the process of grieving head on. Emily and Clementine flirt with the melancholic echo of death while understanding their greatest defence against it is good humour, gentle admonishment and generous lashings of red wine.

ALSO - for an extra $5 you can get a game of twilight bowls before the show, BARGAIN!! Make sure you call ahead on 8223 5516 to book yourself a lane.

Also, you can listen to a snippet of the show here: Emily and I performing "Ring of Fire in a Minor Key" on Carole Whitelock's ABC Afternoons.

For Adelaidians, tickets are selling quickly so book now!

Rihanna - the victimisation continues

Sigh. The whole situation with Rihanna is extremely sad. I'm infuriated by a large chunk of the response from the public, not least of which is the psychiatrist in this article.

AN American psychiatrist has claimed Rihanna is "playing with fire" and oblivious to the dangers of reuniting with Chris Brown.

Pertinent points we need to understand about Dr. Keith Ablow:

1. He does not and to the best of my knowledge has never treated Rihanna.

2. His 'diagnosis' was delivered in a blog post for Fox News. Can they be serious in thinking we'll believe they only care about her welfare and not just web traffic?

3. He wastes no time in declaring Rihanna a 'bad role model' for women across the US (but not the world apparently). Way to make her feel better, stronger, more self confident you King Douche....

But I can't deny being distressed by reports (however loosely accurate they may be) that Rihanna is back with Brown. While I understand the cycle of violence is difficult to break and the thing she needs most right now is support, I can't help but feel angry that this is yet another example of domestic violence being pushed under the carpet simply due to the fame and/or popularity of those involved.

Anyhoo, I sent out a group email to my feminist boner killer ladeez last week after I heard yet another gross example of 'news' on Nova 91.9. (I have to listen to it at Media Monitors, don't judge me.)

Fresh from the Nova news room:

"Rhianna has thanked her fans after that picture of her looking all beaten up landed on the web during the week. If you haven't seen the pic it is up on the Nova 91.9 website."

I do believe the reality of domestic abuse needs to be seen by people, but I hardly think Nova is publishing it as a community service announcement.

Mind you, not as bad as a couple of the comments on the Daily telegraph website, which included one from a guy saying something along the lines of, "get over it, it's not even that bad!" and another saying that it looks bad BUT he would like to know both sides of the story.

Because as we all know, there ARE some circumstances when we bitches can just be so infuriating that it's okay to pummel our faces with your fists. Just sayin'.

Check out these depressing comments (compiled by my excellent friend mskp) left on various message boards just after TMZ lived up to their fuckwit reputation and released the photo in question.

mskp says:

i'm sure no good can come from trawling the depths of the blogosphere on this issue but these are some of the more astounding comments i found on the b105 website [brisbane commercial radio]:

• Mika says

  I dont like Rhianna anyways!!!
  I dont condone vioence but if this is true she probably drives him crazy. She is obsessive compulsive ocer Chris. Give him some space!!!

  Posted Tuesday 10 February, 2009 2:24 PM

yeah, bitch be bossy. verdict = her fault.

• Natalie says

  There definatly has to be more to this story! I met Chris at his concert this year, and he is the most geniuine and amaing guy ever. I doubt he would ever hit a woman for no reason, or even on purpose or in a sober state. I love Chris, and noone should judge him, especially when the media ALWAYS blows things out of proportion!

  Posted Tuesday 10 February, 2009 4:59 PM
  

mmm, y'all be trippin'. if he would never "hit a woman for no reason, or even on purpose or in a sober state" then i guess she asked for it, it was an accident, and he was drunk anyway. verdict = her fault.

• Adam Murray says

  No women deserves to be assaulted but what has she done to get him to the breaking point it does take two to tango

  Posted Wednesday 11 February, 2009 8:16 AM

aaah, bitch be partially responsible. two to tango? wow, i guess there does need to be two people involved in an assault. and if you get your face punched in, you might want to ask yourself what you did to get someone to that "breaking point". verdict = her fault.

• antonia&jamie&nicole says

  WE STILL LOVE U CHRIS BROWN WE DONT CARE IF U HIT HER WE LOVE YOU !
  ps we will be happy if u hit us

  Posted Wednesday 11 February, 2009 8:33 AM

• jamie,antonia&nicole says

  chris brown is a sweet guy and he has probably realised what he did wrong but everyone makes mistakes
  love from ur wives antonia , jamie and nicole
  adelaide

  Posted Wednesday 11 February, 2009 8:34 AM

um. with these ones, i actually can't. because my heart breaks and my insides quake and the room seems to close in a little when i think about this one too much. but obviously the verdict here, apart from the obvious verdict on these poor girls, is that is was = her fault.


what do we do?

Ugh.

Anyhoo, I wrote this column for the paper on Sunday questioning the tendency for people to forgive DV abusers and treat their victims with suspicion.

---------

When Olypmic hopeful Nick D’arcy left fellow swimmer Simon Cowley with not only a shattered jaw, eye socket and nose, but, as Cowley testified earlier this month, an apparent anxiety disorder, he also waved goodbye to any kind of swimming career he might have in the immediate future.

D’arcy is now awaiting sentencing on a charge that could (but probably won’t) see him spend up to ten years in jail.

While some people felt it was right to remove D’arcy from the Olympic team, there was a predictable group of come-on-nows who argued that he was probably really sorry and deserved another chance.

But what I didn’t see any evidence of in this public dialogue was blame levelled at Simon Cowley. No one suggested that, while D’arcy might have reacted badly, he was probably provoked. There were no public calls for Cowley to take responsibility for his own part in the assault.

So you can imagine how depressing it is to witness the vastly different response from some quarters to singer Chris Brown’s heinous ‘alleged’ assault on Rihanna. Whilst the majority of people have expressed disgust, there are those who cannot seem to help suffixing their sentences with the ubiquitous ‘but’.

“It’s never okay to hit a woman BUT….”

“He shouldn’t have hit her BUT….”

And “I don’t condone violence BUT….”

Some of the more legible comments made regarding this case posit that there MUST be more to the story. Perhaps Rihanna provoked him? We just don’t know what happened. Stay strong Chris. We still love you. It takes two to tango. He’s obviously really sorry. I just know that Chris would never do anything like this. Rihanna probably hit him first. Doesn’t everyone know she’s, like, obsessed with him?

And so forth.

A good deal of support being sent Brown’s way comes from young females, all of whom are positive that Brown could never be capable of such an act and even if he did do it he’s really sorry now and he deserves a second chance because he’s like, such an amazing musician and this is just another case of Rihanna trying to make everything about HER.

Consider this infuriating response from “Tasha Knightly” on the Herald Sun website:

“Rihanna should make up her mind if she's gonna press charges but if i were her i would think twice about that cause A LOT of fans will not be happy if Chris Brown goes to jail and i'm one of those people…. It's very obvious he wouldnt kill her it's all just ANGRY TALK come on hu doesnt say stuf the don't mean when they are angry…” [sic]

Unlike ‘normal’ assaults, there appears to be an insidious presumption by some that domestic violence (particularly when it involves people we feel we know and have possibly formed some kind of fannish alliance with) is a different kettle of fish.

Most of Brown’s supporters can actually acknowledge the damage he is ‘alleged’ to have inflicted – and yet they’re passion for this man and/or his music convinces them there must have been extenuating circumstances.

Here are the raw facts. Victims of domestic violence DO provoke their attackers.

They provoke them by speaking too loudly. By cooking the wrong kind of dinner. By going out with their friends. By answering back. By dropping plates accidentally. By talking to other members of the opposite sex. By refusing sex.

Sometimes, they provoke them just by standing there and doing nothing.

Because, when you think about it, it really does’t take much to provoke the kind of person who considers it acceptable to take their rage and own feelings of inadequacy out on someone else – particularly someone smaller and physically weaker than they are, and who they claim to love.

Considering this, it frankly frightens me that there are so many young women prepared to leap to Brown’s defence. But he’s sorry! they cry.

You poor fools.

They’re always sorry, right up until their behaviour has been excused so often. Then they don’t even bother saying that anymore.


-----------

Now we have people legitimately feeling like it's their place to say that she 'deserves whatever she gets' if she goes back to Chris Brown. Never mind respect for what may be a shattered sense of self esteem; never mind that Brown's attack may have been the culmination of months of emotional abuse. Nah. If she goes back, after an assault, embarrassed, scared, unsure, victimised then she TOTALLY deserves to have it happen again.

*facepalm*