Morality Play Advisory Board: minutes from the first meeting

Because I'm aware that my definition of quirky and cute is very different to everyone else's, I shall refrain from posting the picture of Dream Man at this juncture. My first initiative therefore will be to provide a fairly in depth description to enable you Melbourne readers to construct a mental IdentiKit of our hero.

If you feel you may know my crush's identity, throw your hat in the ring and I'll email a picture to you privately for confirmation.

If Initiative One still fails to produce results, I propose to post the picture of Dream Man for a period of no more and no less than TWO HOURS. It will be up to you, the curious, to make time to drop by and see him in the (cyber)flesh.

Once the two hours is up, I shall remove the photo forever and leave the rest to the gods.

SO!

Clues to find Dream Man: Physical

1. Brown, slightly shaggy-ish hair but not like a boy band - more a George O'Malley pre-marrying Callie kind of way.

2. Comfortably tall - 6"1 and not skinny looking but sort of leanish I suppose. Bonus, because skinny men make me nervous and want to pull up their trousers.

3. Green eyes with eyebrows that could only be described as 'swarthy'.

4. Plump limps. They look quite soft. Perhaps he uses blistex?

5. Clean shaven, which is most important as stubble irritates my sensitive skin. They must either be completely shaven or full bearded for me to partake in the pash on.

Clues to find Dream Man - Personality/Things

1. Whilst fully employed by the government in some kind of management position, he also plays in a band in his spare time. Alas, I've no clue if he's the drummer - I can only hope. It's a new band, and apparently they're starting to get some gigs around Melbourne. Influences include: Tom Waits, Beck, The Darkness, Frank Zappa and Stevie Wonder.

2. Dream Man likes to read, polishing off two books a week and recently enjoying The Time Traveller's Wife which is both romantic AND enjoyably pretentious. I like...

3. He owns a "small, affectionate dog". Personally, I hate cats so this works well for me. I'm hoping it looks a bit like this one. Too cute for words...

4. He lists as one of his other interests - and this is the clincher for me and also a potentially important clue to his identity - "going to the mountains to visit my father". Not only is this adorable and important because Family Is Everything, but it will hopefully help one of YOU fine people to identify him.

Think carefully - do you have a handsome gentleman friend who frequently disappears to the countryside? Chances are it's him, and if it's not well...let's just say I'm not picky.

Other pertinent points about Dream Man:

* He's a 28 year old Libran, which puts his birthday sometime in October I think?

* A non smoker (excellent - remove temptation)

* Agnostic (works for me, remember Horatio's philosophy etc)

* Likes to cook ('which I perhaps should have mentioned first...'*)

I think you'll agree that he's clearly perfect.

So there you go Bad Apple Gamers! You have one day to construct your identikits and report back. I await your findings patiently and shall pass the time finding yet more nonsensical groups to join on Facebook.

Peace out (Operation Photo Posting Back Up scheduled for 4pm Thursday July 5...)

* points for guessing where this reference comes from...